My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
