quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
