Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
