I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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