There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
