do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
