I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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