Duck Duck Cougar?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
