just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
