Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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