Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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