My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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