Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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