Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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