I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
