I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
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