Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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