he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
