omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
BRING THE BAGELS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
