p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
