White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
