Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The best revenge is premature balding
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
