another moral hangover. fuck.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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