I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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