I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
