sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
