A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
