how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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