I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
