Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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