God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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