Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He kissed a someone with a penis
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
