She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
