You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You dont lie about slip and slides
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
