Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
