i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
