Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think my vagina is haunted
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And then he peed in my hair
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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