i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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