oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
