Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
