i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
