also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
