she peed on how many people?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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