did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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