I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
