ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
