matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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