I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
