Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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