he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
