Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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