weddingsv make me drug and hornr
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
