At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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